spoof

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

The Necklace
Mathilde Loisel was one of those pretty and charming girls born,and she let herself be married off to a little clerk in the Ministry of Education. One evening her husband came home with a large envelope in his hand, an invitation card:

"The Minister of Education and Madame Ramponneau request the pleasure of the company of Monsieur and Madame Loisel at the Ministry on the evening of Monday, January the 18th."

Instead of being delighted, she flung the invitation petulantly across the table, murmuring. "Why, darling, I thought you'd be happy. You never go out, and this is a great occasion." She looked at him out of furious eyes, and said impatiently: "And what do you suppose I am to wear at such a party?"

Her husband had not thought about it. But soon he had bright idea and exclaimed "Why don't you go and see Madame Forestier and ask her to lend you some jewels. " She uttered a cry of delight. "That's true. I never thought of it."

Next day she went to see her friend. Madame Forestier went to her dressing-table, took and opened a large box. Her heart began to beat covetously. She discovered a superb diamond necklace. Her hands trembled as she lifted it. She fastened it round her neck, upon her high dress, and remained in ecstasy at sight of herself.

The day of the party arrived. She was the prettiest woman present, elegant, graceful, smiling, and quite above herself with happiness. All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. She left the party about four o'clock in the morning. Arriving at home, She took off the clothes. But suddenly she uttered a cry. The necklace was no longer round her neck. So her husband returned to the party to find the necklace but he had found nothing. His face lined and pale. "You must write to your friend," he said, "and tell her that you've broken the clasp of her necklace and are getting it mended. That will give us time to work and get money to replace the necklace"

She came to know the heavy work. She washed the plates, dirty linen, the shirts and dish-cloths, and hung them out to dry on a string. Every morning she took the dustbin down into the street and carried up the water, stopping on each landing to get her breath. She went to the fruiterer, to the grocer, to the butcher, a basket on her arm, haggling, insulted, fighting for every wretched halfpenny of her money. While her husband worked in the evenings at putting straight a merchant's accounts, and often at night he did copying at twopence-halfpenny a page. This life lasted ten years and they had enough money to to buy and replace the necklace.

She went to meet Madame Forestier.
"You remember the diamond necklace you lent me?. Actually I lost it"
"How could you? Why, Well, you meet me to return the necklace now?"
"Yes, I bring you another necklace just like it. And for the last ten years we have been working hard for it. You realise it wasn't easy for us; we had no money. Well, it's paid for at last, and I'm glad indeed."
Madame Forestier smiled in proud and innocent happiness. She deeply moved and said;
"Oh, my poor Mathilde! But mine was imitation. It was only worth at five hundred francs!"




Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.

Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.

“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.

The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”

Notes on the Spoof’s Generic Structure

Orientation: Dave was a lucky man. He suddenly became a very rich man because of the death of his rich uncle who had no children. He inherited his uncle’s money.

Event 1: Being rich, he wanted to set up his estate company

Event 2: He had his new office. In his office, he pretended to be a very successful businessman. He acted as had an important client. He showed by making conversation on the phone.

Twist: The man whom he showed is a telephone technician. He came to Dave’s office to connect that phone.